


The Unauthorized Tale of the Champion

by TheCookieAlchemist



Series: Astrid Hawke: The Champion of Kirkwall [5]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Gen, Memoirs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22334905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCookieAlchemist/pseuds/TheCookieAlchemist
Summary: When Astrid Hawke has some spare time on her hands, she decides to start writing her life story.Note: The chapters are not written in chronological order, just updated as I write them.
Relationships: Anders/Female Hawke
Series: Astrid Hawke: The Champion of Kirkwall [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607695
Kudos: 1





	1. Introduction

So you probably know me as the Champion of Kirkwall. Or Hawke. Or "that bitch who drank all my good whiskey" (sorry Inquisitor!). Or maybe even Astrid, although my first name seems to escape people who aren't my sister or my partner. But if you don't know me, then you do now!

I'm guessing that you've probably read Varric Tethras' "Tale of the Champion" and if you haven't, you probably should. If you missed it, spoiler alert, it's about me and how I spent seven long years of my life in Kirkwall, making it a better place until I suddenly didn't. Oops.

But here's the thing about Varric's book: most of it is total bullshit. Sure, he gets  _ some _ stuff right, but he also left a lot out. Like the Satinalia party we all had at the Hanged Man where I had a drinking contest with former Knight-Captain Cullen on a bet from Anders. Or the time the Carta tried to kill Varric and I with a poisoned cake. Or that thing I did with those dwarves at the Blooming Rose.

Actually, you don't need to know about that last one, and you should probably forget I ever mentioned it.

So if you want to know how that fight with the Arishok  _ really _ went, or about my undying hate for the craziest of Templars, or the saucy details of my ongoing affair with the rebel apostate who blew up Kirkwall's Chantry, here it is. The  _ real _ Tale of the Champion.

It starts the way all the best stories start: with four people running for their lives as their hometown burned around them...


	2. Deep Roads Maps and Attractive Possessed Mages, or How I Met My Chantry-Exploding Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hawke describes her first meeting with Anders.

You know what the worst place I’ve ever been is? 

This prison cell in Weisshaupt Fortress I’m currently stuck in. 

Okay, that’s a lie. The Nightmare’s lair was worse than this is, but not by much. It’s cold down here, the food is terrible, the guards don’t think my jokes are funny, and I haven’t seen daylight in Maker knows how long. I mean, I’ve been in prison before, but never for this long. It’s too quiet down here, and it kind of makes me wish that I had a spirit in my head like Anders does just so I’d have someone to talk to. 

Speaking of which, Anders! I’m guessing you probably want me to talk about him, given the nature of our relationship. Thank you, Varric, for divulging the details of my personal life to  _ everyone in Thedas. _

So I first met Anders when I was still a dirt-poor refugee in Kirkwall trying to make enough money to protect my sister from the Loony Lyrium Lady and her skirted Templar cronies. Varric had offered to make me a partner in he and his far less charming/attractive brother’s Deep Roads expedition, and I accepted because the alternative was staying in Gamlen’s shithole for the rest of my life and probably seeing Bethany get thrown into the Gallows. 

Varric asked me to get some maps of the tunnels we were going to use, and the only person who had them was a runaway Grey Warden from Ferelden. Before you get too excited, it was Anders. 

At the time, he was running a back-alley clinic for all the poor refugees who had come into Kirkwall fleeing the Blight just like we were. And just how would you react if you were a runaway apostate mage in the Templar capital of Thedas who had four people armed to the teeth knock on your door? 

If your answer is to declare that you have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation and ask why you dare threaten it, congratulations, you’re right! At the time, I thought it was a little strange, but it turns out that the Wardens had made Anders give up his pet cat and that’s why he had split town. Not that I blame him for wanting to get away from the whole “hopeless taint and death” thing. You spend too long as a Warden, you end up at Weisshaupt guarding perfectly innocent prisoners who just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and accidentally released an ancient darkspawn magister that nearly destroyed the order. Oops. 

Back on topic, Anders only agreed to give me the maps if I helped his friend (actually, I’m pretty sure he was more than a friend, but Anders never gave me a clear answer on that front) Karl, who was trapped in the Gallows. I agreed, because who am I to turn down an excuse to risk my hide to fight Templars? Also, I really needed those maps. 

Unfortunately, by the time we got there, Karl had already been made Tranquil. By a man named Ser Alrik, a person so unspeakably evil and vile that I’m not even going to give him a nickname. He’s the most horrible person I’ve ever met, besides maybe the blood mage who killed my mother. Okay, the blood mage is worse, but not by much. 

The whole thing ended with Anders being forced to mercy-kill his friend. It was sad, and I don’t want to talk about it. After it was all said and done, I got the maps I needed, but more importantly, I found a cause to fight for. 

You see, thanks to Father and I, Bethany had never suffered the Circle. She’d never be locked up or made Tranquil. 

Anders? He suffered under the Circle, trapped beneath the iron fist of the Templars. His best friend was stripped of his humanity because an evil man wanted to make an example of him. And for the first time, I realized exactly why Father had protected Bethany so fiercely. 

No mage should suffer what Anders or Karl did. So that day, I decided to join forces with Anders, to help him free the mages whenever I could. 

Obviously, there were no repercussions whatsoever to this decision. I certainly didn’t fall in love with him and I definitely didn’t help him start a war! What kind of person do you take me for? A horrible troublemaker? 


End file.
